Friday the 13th - A New Beginning

There was a man so cold
No life was in his eyes
He had a look so hard
I'd never seen him smile
 - Pseudo Echo

So after a brief reprieve due to real world obligations and a much needed vacation, I have stumbled on to the fifth installment of the Friday the 13th series, the oft-maligned Part 5: A New Beginning.

Now it's maligned for a reason and I'm going to give this reason away in the review because frankly, it's a really good reason to hate the movie BUT..apart from that, I didn't hate this movie. In fact, I kind of liked it.

The movie starts off with the a dream sequence featuring Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman) which leads to the adult Tommy on his way to a halfway house. Apparently the events from the last movie put Tommy in a mental hospital (and have made his eyes turn blue from Corey's dark brown for some reason) but he's now well enough to go into a group home. There he meets the other "kids" which include the sort of characters we've all come to know in these movies, and of course, Jason. Which really isn't Jason. Which is why fans really seem to hate this movie too much.

I liked the idea of the halfway house. You get a good assortment of damaged teens and it's a good way to isolate them from the outside world. Also they're likeable so you don't particularly will them to die, except for maybe Tommy whose acting is so bland, you forget about him in favor of the more colorful characters. The issue is all the other characters that infiltrate this movie that have absolutely nothing to do with anything. There's a little kid who is the grandson of the cook at the house, his brother who lives in a van with his girlfriend, the sheriff and a guy who I guess is the mayor who yells at the sheriff, a repulsive Mom and her equally repulsive redneck son. A couple of greasers whose car breaks down...

Gah, just top with the characters! Stop! If they had kept it to the main characters, the movie would have worked a lot better. And then there's the whole "not really Jason" thing. I'm giving away spoilers because, seriously, it's disappointing.

So, we are led to believe the killer is Jason who rarely appears onscreen, but there are all sorts of red herrings to try and convince us otherwise. There's Tommy, who's damaged goods and has "visions" of Jason from time to time, there's a mysterious drifter who appears out of nowhere (yet ANOTHER unnecessary character), there's one of the "kids" in the halfway house who kills a fat teen so pathetic that Shelly from F13 Part 3 would have snubbed him, there's the rednecks who have threatened to kill the teens for getting on their property. None of these lead anywhere.

So who was the killer? Well if it was Jason this could have been one of the better F13 movies. But...

It was Roy. Yes I'm giving away the ending. It was Roy. So, who was Roy? Roy was the ambulance driver in the beginning of the movie who picked up the dead fat teen who was killed at the house. Apparently, he was the father of the teen, never let on to that fact, and killed the kids in the halfway house as revenge. And he killed a whole slew of other characters for no reason. It's Roy, the character we knew nothing about who did absolutely nothing and was onscreen for a minute and a half at most.

Yes, that's why fans hate this movie and yes, that was the STUPIDEST ending of all the movies. But despite Roy, the rest of the movie isn't completely terrible. The deaths are somewhat creative and the effects are well done. The kids are actually pretty good actors, the halfway house setting works well. It all could have come together except it didn't. Ah well, on to the next one.

Favorite Moments (may contain spoilers):

• Demon (Miguel A. Nunez Jr.) and his girlfriend's strangely touching outhouse duet.
• Poor stuttering Jake attempting to hit on pretty girl Robin and failing. Miserably.
• Punk-girl Violet's new wave dance to the song "His Eyes" by Pseudo Echo, a song which has found it's way onto my iPod and is now one of my favorite songs in the world.
• Teeny woman Pam wielding a gigantic chainsaw at Jason and holding her own against him, until it unfortunately goes out at a critical moment.

Fun Facts Kids!

• The producers auditioned Debi Sue Voorhees (Tina) after they saw her last name in their photo pile.
• Violet's death was supposed to much more graphic, as she was split in two from her nether regions. Sadly the MPAA would not allow it and in the film she just gets stabbed normally.
• Stuntman Ted White was asked to reprise his role as Jason from Part 4 but turned it down saying "Once was enough."
• Imposter Jason is differentiated from real Jason by the colors on his mask. Roy's mask has blue stripes, while the real Jason's are red.

Agree? Disagree? Or just have a random string of curse words you'd like to share? Comment!

Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter

You're in his eye and you'll know why
The more you live
The faster you will die
 - After the Fire

And so I trod on through the deep, dark, woods with my Friday the 13th Marathon review canon-style. This time around we meet Jason yet again in the ever-increasingly ill-named Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter. And, surprise. It ain't half bad.

We begin with pretty Final Girl Trish Jarvis who lives a quiet, idyllic life in an isolated wooded area with her pretty blonde Mom and little kid brother Tommy. Quiet, that is, until the house next door fills up with meat for the beast, I mean -"kids" who just wanna party and have a good time (one of whom, a young Crispin Glover who's hilarious). Along the way, we get a few more characters thrown at us including some Brit twins (one of whom is a "slut") and a hunky hunter named Rob who ain't scouting for bears. And of course, Jason.

This one is a fan favorite and with good reason. It's apparent that, unlike many of theses movies, the writers, director and even the 'dead teen' actors actually gave a damn and tried to make a good movie. Also this is one slasher flick where all the characters are interesting with actual traits and personalities. Of special note is Corey Feldman who is cute and believable as young Tommy. I know, I know, it's Corey Feldman. But he was still a kid and I can't begrudge him here. He's actually quite good.

It's also pretty cool how they handled Jason who for the most part, is kind of kept in the shadows until the very end. Oh he kills people. He kills a TON of people. But generally what you see is the victim being slaughtered by someone unseen. You may see a hand, you see the victim, you see the implement of destruction but you don't see much of Jason and that adds a level of 'scary' that's usually lacking in F13 films. Oh, and as y'all know, Jason keeps his the hockey mask from the third movie. Thanks for that Shelly from Part 3! We hardly knew ye.

True, the movie has some issues. It's hardly suspenseful since we can tell the kids exist just to be slaughtered. Also Jason's unmasked face at the end is more than a little goofy. In fact his "death" scene looks far too animatronic to be taken seriously, complete with rolling eyeball and unnatural rubbery face movements which kind of take away from any real terror. Also the movie had a great idea in Tommy Jarvis and his complete melt-down in the end which could have indicated the birth of a new killer, but in the remaining movies in the franchise that idea goes bye-bye.

But you can't blame this movie for what happened in future Friday the 13th films and and Part 4 was a step in the right direction for the franchise. Sadly I think that things will take a turn for the worse as I make my way throught the rest of them.

NOTE: This movie may mark the first time that Jason actually saved a life, well, indirectly. Judie Aronson, who played the skinny dipping Samantha had to film her death scene on a raft and was left floating for several hours in 20 degree temperatures. After a while the poor girl begged to come in to warm up as she was quite literally turning blue. Director Joseph Zito refused until actor Ted White (Jason) said he would not film another scene until Judie was brought in. Zito gave in and Judie ended up in the hospital with hypothermia. Go Jason!

Favorite Moments (may contain spoilers):

• Crispin Glover and the most dweebish spazz dance ever.
• Ted stoned and watching Victorian porn. Silly.
• The dog crashing through the window for absolutely no reason. Was he thrown by Jason? Was he just scared? Did he want to end it all because he had been forced to live with Corey Feldman? We never find out but it just looks so. damn. cool.
• Tommy Jarvis going all medieval on Jason's body after Jason is (presumably) dead. Whoa.

Fun Facts Kids!

• Ted White found Corey Feldman to be so obnoxious he admitted that during the scenes where he was to attack him, he wished he really could.
• During the scene where Ted gets stoned, actor Lawrence Monoson decided to actually smoke pot before filming to get into character. He later admitted it was a big mistake as pot made him really "paranoid" and he had trouble acting in the scene.
• The movie takes place on Sunday the 15th, the day after the Part 3 and two days after Part 2.
• Corey Feldman's parents did not want him to shave his head for the movie as television pilot season was coming up, so the director used a stand-in for Corey, a child actor who actually DID shave his head specifically for filming.

Agree? Disagree? Or just have a random string of curse words you'd like to share? Comment!

6666 Pageviews!

We interrupt the F13 Marathon Reviews to report that Werewolves is up to overall 6666 pageviews!

I'm pretty sure this means something. Not exactly sure what that is but hey if three 6's are evil, then 4 must be BADASS. Thank you horror fans. Y'all are my people.

Friday the 13th Part 3

One way or another
I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
 - Blondie

I had a string of luck with Friday the 13th Part 1 and 2, both of them pretty good slashers in their own right. So, is Friday the 13th Part 3 just as good? The answer is no. It's not that's it horrible, mind you. It's that it's just not as good.

The movie starts off with 10 minutes of paddin- I mean, 10 minutes of footage from part 2, then continues with 10 more minutes of filler where an unpleasant couple who have nothing to do with the movie are offed. But after all that we finally get to the main characters which include Final Girl Chris - a pretty nondescript brunette and her friends which include yet another horny couple, a stoner couple, loveable pudgy loser Shelly and his blind date Vera. Along the way they meet up with Chris's 45-year old looking love interest Rick, a trio of up-to-no-good bikers, and of course Jason.

I didn't remember much of this movie from when I originally saw it and after watching it, I really still don't remember much. Chris and her friends are a completely boring lot and you don't really get a feel for most of the characters, save Shelly, who is pretty memorable in that you want to punch him and hug him at the same time. And then there's Jason. No offense to Richard Brooker who played him this time around, but Jason seemed a little 'lacking' in this one. The whole "mountain man" thing is gone and this Jason is kind of skinny, not nearly as hulking or threatening as he should be. In fact, he's not even that much of a presence until the end of the movie. However, I will say this, this Jason seems to have the "look" of Jason down, from his clothes to his hockey mask which he gets in Part 3 courtesy of Shelly who has a small magic box that contains several costume elements. Jason finds the mask, puts it on and an icon is born. So it ain't all bad.

Another problem with the movie is the 3D gimmick. Now granted I couldn't get my hands on a 3D copy but it doesn't really matter. While it would appear that Jason and his penchant for killing with assorted tools would work well in 3D (and I bet it did) the movie makers unwisely decided that everything should revolve around 3D. Therefore the actors move in unnatural way and things are shoved randomly towards the screen, most of which have NOTHING to do with Jason. Just how scary is popcorn? Laundry? Apples? Oranges? Bales of Hay? How about Yo-Yo's? Considerable time was spent filming these in 3D. What a waste when you could just have Jason jumping out at ya with a machete.

Then there's Chris and the tale of her first encounter with Jason. You see it appears that while in high school, she ran away from her home one night into the deep woods and Jason attacked her with a knife. She fought him off, he dragged her back and she "passed out." The next day she was in her own room.

Wait. WHAT?

Are we supposed to believe that Jason attacked a young girl, had her, but didn't kill her because ... well that's the problem. WHY wouldn't he kill her? Was it because she was too pretty? Was Jason just sleepy and tired that night? Did his grinchy heart grow 3 sizes bigger? It's the stupidest story in the entire franchise and that's saying something. Oh and to hear her tell it. Well, let's just say there's a DVD bonus extra on the second disk of the documentary His Name is Jason that consists of fans making fun of her "acting" in the tale. So there you go.

The chase scene at the end between Chris and Jason almost ALMOST makes up for the entire movie but it's not enough to save it because by then we've already forgotten most of the movie. That and the nonsensical dream ending (how did Jason's Mom get her head back and how would Chris even know her?) doesn't make this Friday the 13th a date to remember. Except the disco theme song. Dammit, I like the disco theme song.

Favorite Moments (may contain spoilers):

• Mike's famous handstand kill and that machete going right down the middle. Ouch!
• Jason putting on his mask for the first time and deciding he quite likes it.
• Rick's ultra-fake looking head squishing scene and the eyeball popping out with a very very thick wire attached. Couldn't they have tried a little harder?
• Momma Voorhees coming out of the water in the dream sequence. I have to admit, even though it didn't make sense, it was still funny.

Fun Facts Kids!

• The lakehouse was built specifically for the movie and stayed in the same location until a fan burned it down when he tried to start a fire in the artificial fireplace. 
• Larry Zerner (Shelly) was discovered working in a movie theater when he was asked to audition for the movie.
• The 2nd Assistant Director Marilyn Poucher played Jason's Mom in this movie.
• The movie takes place on Saturday the 14th, the day after the events of Part 2.

Agree? Disagree? Or just have a random string of curse words you'd like to share? Comment!

Friday the 13th Part 2

I'm gonna knock you out
Mama said knock you out
 - L.L. Cool J

And so my Friday the 13th marathon review continues. Moving right along to the first sequel in the F13 series, Friday the 13th Part 2.

Many people think the franchise started with the first Friday the 13th, but really, I think it started with this one. After all, this is the first movie where we have the one and only Jason as the killer. Also some of the "kill setup clichés" are now neatly put into place for inclusion in the future movies. Do you have sex or are you even thinking about having sex? You die. Jason HATES when you do that, even more than as his Mom did. Skinny dipping? Automatic death. Are you a completely forgettable character who doesn't really do anything at all? Dead, dead, deadski. Are you a good likeable girl with smarts and a lot of dialogue? Congrats, you just might live. However, if you're the boyfriend/love interest of the likable girl, it's a toss-up.

In F13 - Part 2, we get a new set of kids that differ only slightly from the old set of kids. The main character is Ginny (Amy Steel) who is dating the head counselor Paul and plays the role of the Final Girl. We've got the obligatory standard-issue horny couple. We also get a guy in a wheelchair, a girl crazy about the guy in a wheelchair, a girl who doesn't seem to own a bra and the guy crazy for the girl who doesn't seem to own a bra. So, yeah, it's a good group. What what about the plot, you ask? Really I can't say much about the plot because there really isn't one. They come to set up the camp, they die. That's really all there is too it.  But let's talk Jason!

This Jason looks a little different from the one we all know and fear now. No mask, instead he wears a pillow case with one eye cut out (the hockey mask doesn't come into play until the next installment.) But he's still Jason and he's killing kids in the woods who do things that kids in the woods do. All while wearing overalls, a flannel shirt and a big burlap bag covering his face. This is the Mountain Man version of Jason and he's fun to watch. He's an interesting character on his own.

The movie works pretty well on it's own too and contains some clever foreshadowing .  Like Ginny pulling up in her car which we can see isn't work well ("My car's sick!" she exclaims), so when it inevitably doesn't start during the chase sequence, it's not much of a contrivance. Also we know that Ginny is studying child psychology, so her trying to trick/disorient Jason is kind of a cool little scene. I mean, Jason never really grew up did he? He's got the heart and mind of a child. And he probably keeps them buried somewhere on the campgrounds.

But for all the clever moments, there were a few things that didn't really sit well with me. For example, one of the kids, Ted, is set up at the beginning as a prankster and a main character. First of all, the character isn't really that far from "Ned" who in the first one was the prankster. But second of all, the last we see him is at a bar. We don't know what happened to him, he's never shown leaving the bar, and probably never gets killed. In essence, why have the character if you're not going to let him die? Or does he survive the night? We never find out.

Also, the ending. Like the first one, it involves Jason attacking the hapless heroine through a neat jump scare (this time by bursting through a window.) But the next time we see her, she's survived and is on a stretcher(?). She's also asking "Where's Paul?" which is a pretty good question since we don't know what the hell happened to her boyfriend. Or Ted. Or those other nameless counselors who went to the bar earlier. Was it a dream? Did she somehow survive the jump attack? And what about Muffins the dog? Oh for Gods sake, what happened to Muffins the dog!

I asked in the IMDB horror section what horror fans thought was the worst and the best F13, and this came up quite a bit as people's favorite. I have to admit, I enjoyed it for what it was, which is exactly what the first one was, which is a nifty little slasher. Nothing more, nothing less.

SIDENOTE:  There seems to be a lot of confusion as to who actually played Jason in this movie. In the credits, it's stated that the role is played by Warrington Gillette. However, about a week and half into shooting Gillette was replaced by stuntman Steve Daskawicz because Gillette was refusing to do the stunts. Many F13 fans were unaware of this as Gillette was attending horror conventions as THE Jason in the movie, even though he only did one scene. However, a few diehards figured it out and contacted Steve who was upset that Warrington was taking credit for the rest of the picture. Gillette explained it away to Steve saying that he had been in a skiing accident and had lost some of his memory, but Steve, a retired New York cop, isn't buying it. Neither am I.

Favorite Moments (may contain spoilers):

• The murder of Crazy Ralph. Hey, there really WAS a death curse!
• Mousy Vickie practically dry humping the useless legs of the wheelchair-bound Mark. Then putting on a normal pair of panties and an over-sized high neck velor sweater to seduce him. Down girl, DOWN!
• Ginny putting on Mom's old sweater and trying to trick Jason into thinking Mommy is talking to him.
• The final reveal of Mountain Man Jason bursting through the window

Fun Facts Kids!

• Tape was placed under Steve Daskawicz's eye to hold the pillow case in place so he could see better, however, it had the unfortunate effect of tearing the skin around his eyelids. 
• Adrienne King (Alice) returned for the sequel but didn't want to appear onscreen too long due to threats she was receiving from a stalker.
• Most of the "double impalement kill" scene had to be cut to avoid an "X" rating.
• In F13 Part 3, Steve Daskawicz (also known as Steve Dash) is credited in the flashback footage.

Agree? Disagree? Or just have a random string of curse words you'd like to share? Comment!

Friday the 13th - 1980

Mother
Can you keep them in the dark for life?
Can you hide them from the waiting world...

 - Danzig

And so the marathon review begins with the original classic that started it all: Friday the 13th.

I forgot just what a nifty little slasher film this was. Although the concept of kids alienated from most adults and being picked off one by one is not new (Sean Cunningham willing admitted he stole from Halloween),it has several little clever moments that allow it to hold up on its own merit.

Let's start with a quick recap for the two people in the world who have never seen it. A group of young camp counselors arrive at Camp Crystal Lake to set up for the camping season. Among them we have the bright and spunky Alice, sensible Brenda, young couple in love - Marcie and Jack (Kevin Bacon!) and other assorted nice likable young people who look forward to the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, the rest of their lives lasts only a few scant hours as they meet their doom by an unseen killer. Most of y'all know the rest as it leads up to the unlikeliest killer in movie history.

Betsy Palmer (Mrs. Voorhees) once said in an interview that she thought the movie would be forgettable trash and I understand how she thought that way. After all on paper, it probably didn't sound like anything interesting, just kids getting killed in the woods. But, there's quite a few things that sets the original F13 a cut above (yeah, my puns suck) other slasher films.

First of all, the kids are memorable and well-acted. While most films just put the dudes and chickies out to slaughter, F13 actually gives them personalities, hang-ups and smarts. They aren't dumb. They don't do dumb things. They don't know a killer's on the loose so going to the bathroom by yourself,checking on a generator, sneaking off a quickie, or accepting a ride from a friendly stranger is no big deal. In essence they act like kids act.

Second of all, the killer. Yes, she comes out of nowhere. SPOILER ALERT! It's Mrs. Voorhees whose son drowned years ago while counselors were having sex and she wants to avenge his death. The Mom was never mentioned, the son was never mentioned so it may appear as though the audience was gyped. But dang if Betsy Palmer isn't one of the most awesome killers ever to grace the silver sceen. She looks so friendly in her cable knit sweater, like she'd bake you cookies. But as we learn....Mrs. Voorhees would cut a bitch. And by bitch, I mean anyone. But especially camp counselors. Damn, does she hate herself some camp counselors.

So far from being "forgettable trash", the first movie stands up on it's own as a decent little slasher/thriller. Some of the special effects are a little dated (sorry Tom Savini) but mainly because you can see where the actor's skin ends and the prosthetic begins, but the kills are still fun to watch. And Mrs. Voorhees death scene is certainly a thing to behold.

Next up: Friday the 13th Part 2. Returning to Camp Blood for more gore and mayhem!

Favorite Moments (may contain spoilers):

• Poor lovable Annie hitching a ride in a jeep with some unseen character and getting more than a little freaked out that they passed her exit.
• Mrs. Voorhees explaining to Alice about Jason's death and growing more and more unstable and crazy.
• Decapitation in slo-mo with kickass incidental music!
• Jason jumping out of the water at the end and pulling poor Alice into the murky depths below.

Fun Facts Kids!

• The date of Friday the 13th is mentioned only once in the movie
• The perenial F13 sound "chi chi chi, ha ha ha" is actualy "ki ki ki, ma ma ma". Harry Manfredini took the sounds from the "Kill her Mommy" dialogue and used his own voice to record the Ki and Ma sound through a reverb. The result is classic.
• During Mrs. Voorhee's decapitation, look closely at her hairy hands. Those hands were actually played by Taso N. Stavrakis who worked with Tom Savini on the special effects.
• The final scene with Jason jumping out of the water was not in the original script. But the filmmakers were influenced by the ending of Carrie and wanted a good "jump scare" ending.

Agree? Disagree? Or just have a random string of curse words you'd like to share? Comment!