Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

The souls of your friends
You and I will claim
You've got the body
And I've got the brains
- DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

Sometimes a sequel is better than the original - like how the Wrath of Khan beat out the first Star Trek movie by a solid mile. However, this usually isn't the case with horror movies. True, virtually all sequels in all genres are cash grabs. But Nightmare on Elm Street 2 is the ultimate cash grab. No heart, no soul...no brains. And it was in definite need of a Nancy, and perhaps a Wes. I went into this one remembering how much I didn't like it and nothing has changed.

Good looking young kid Jesse moves into the Nightmare house and begins having strange dreams about a killer in a dirty red and green sweater with claws on one hand. Yep, Freddy's back y'all. But Freddy isn't really out to kill Jesse - rather he decides he needs a new body and that Jesse looks good enough to possess. And with that, it's up to Jesse's pretty girlfriend Lisa to save the day - with the power of love.

Let's start with the smartly dressed elephant in the room. This movie....Well....um. It's not that it's openly...(not that there's anything wrong with that...Oh heck y'all are going to make me say it.

It's a gay male's fantasy.

There is a strong gay subtext running through the whole thing. A PE teacher gets his bare bottom smacked. Jesse wrestling with Grady, pulling down his pants in the process. Jesse dancing around his room to a chick song whilst wiggling his bottom. Oh, and also running from his pertty girlfriend to stay the night with his guy friend instead. And those are the more subtle ones. Anyways, the whole thing was covered quite extensively in the great documentary "Never Sleep Again - The Elm Street Legacy" and if you're a fan of the series or even if like only one or two of them, it's a 'must have'. In it,the actors in Part 2 point out the gay subtext quite readily (and hilariously). The director...well...he still doesn't see it. At least that's his story and he's sticking to it. Funny since it's so prevalent.

Now that that's out of the way, (ahem) let's talk about the movie. It's a disappointment.

First of all the good. Freddy. Freddy looks TERRIFIC. The make-up artist followed the form of the first movie, but made Freddy look positively demonic with glowing red eyes and skin that seemed to have been burned by the fiery depths of hell itself. He is wonderful and Robert, ever the professional, is amazing. Freddy hasn't been wimpified since the first one. In fact, in defeat, he's gotten stronger. And he's ever bit as terrifying as the first. He isn't played for laughs just yet and that's a good thing.

Now for the bad. Everything else. There.

Okay, maybe I should elaborate. Jessie is a likable kid, and Mark Patton a capable actor, but he's far too wimpy to fill Nancy's shoes. In fact, his girlfriend has to do all the dirty work while he frets, moans and whimpers. I didn't buy Jesse and Lisa's relationship since they seemed more like a brother and sister than an actual couple. Their friends weren't sympathetic or fun to watch - they were emotionally disconnected from the whole affair and then there are the dreams.

A ton of the action doesn't even take place in dreams. In fact when Freddy crashes the pool party, arguably a fun moment, no one is dreaming. How is he there? Why is there? Did he simply want a hot dog? The kids are very much awake when he comes through so we're not sure how he got into the real world. It's great to see Freddy go hog wild and slash up kids left and right - he's the fat guy at the all-you-can-eat buffet. But since we don't care about nameless kids it's just not scary. The serious lack of dreaming takes out all the surrealness of the original. Like I said, a disappointment.

So yes, this was filmed with the intention of making a few bucks. Admittedly, according to box office numbers it succeeded, but it failed just about everywhere else. The whole thing is silly and unnecessary which is a shame because Robert's Freddy was in his glory here. Sadly, the rest of the movie just couldn't catch up.

Favorite Moments (may contain spoilers):

• Eek! It's a parakeet!
• Jesse's booty dance which has to be seen to be believed.
• You've the the body - I've got the brains. A wonderfully scary moment in an unscary film.
• The PE teacher's death by...um...balls.
• Run Frankie! Run Annette! It's a pool party massacre!

Fun Facts Kids!

• Robert Englund wanted more money so they replaced him with a stunt man. After starting the shoot with the new actor it became obvious that no one could replace Robert and he was brought back in.
• And yep, that's Robert England sans Freddy make-up driving the bus in the opening sequence.
• Mark Patton is gay but wasn't open at the time this movie was filmed. He soon after left Hollywood due to perceived homophobia.
• Look for New Line honcho Robert Shaye as a bartender in a gay leather bar.

Agree? Disagree? Or just have a random string of curse words you'd like to share? Comment

Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

One..two, Freddy's coming for you
Three..four, better lock the door
Five..six, grab a crucifix
Seven..eight, better stay up late
Nine..ten, never sleep.....again
- Creepy Little Jump-Roping Girls

My Nightmare Marathon begins with one of the true, great classics.  The original. Accept no subsitutes. ; )   Full Disclaimer: This one of my favorite movies of all time and yes, I may be a little bias. But hell, it's just awesome.

For the two of you who have never seen it, here's a quick recap. Pretty girl-next-door Nancy and her friends Glen, Rod and Tina have all started having the same dream about a killer in a red and green sweater with claws on one hand.  Gore and mayhem ensue.  I don't think I need to recap more than that. It's too well-known.

So there's a lot to cover here but let's start with the characters. This is one of those movies where oddly enough, you root for ALL of the kids - and while that has a lot to do with the writing and directing, the actors do the bulk of the work. Tina could have easily been another bimbo character who gets knocked off in the first part of the film, but instead she's sympathetic as a girl who just hasn't lived that great a childhood due to a trashy upbring. Her boyfriend Rod isn't some jerk meathead, instead, he's a tragic figure who is torn apart by his inability to save Tina. Depp is pretty, no doubt about it, but his character Glen genuinely loves Nancy and shows the absolute confusion a high school boy would once his seemingly normal girlfriend starts going a bit whacko.

And let's talk about Nancy.

Most of you regular readers of my blog know I love to talk about the monster.  But truth be told, this isn't Freddy's film. Nope. This film belongs to Nancy.  But before you start spitting at your computer screen, sending me ugly hate mail or kicking Muffy the cat in frustration - let me explain. Freddy is horrible, yes.  But one of the reasons he's so horrible is because the heroine is so..not.  Nancy is an everyday high school girl next door type, you know, the one who sat next to you in math class.  But she's also a bit more. When problems need to be solved, this girl-next-door will cut a bitch if necessary.  She's into survival.  And let's face it, her parents are pretty much useless, so she's used to fending for herself.  And she's the only one with enough gumption to take on Freddy once his claws come a-tearing.

Now, let's talk Freddy.

Freddy is the scariest monster. Forget all the joke-cracking, cracking-wise Freddies of the later movies. This Freddy doesn't do that. Yes, he likes to toy with his victims a bit, but this Freddy is blue collar all the way. Is he clever? Sure. Does he prey on his victims before dispatching them? Yes. Is he a  lovable nut?  Nope. This guy just wants to kill.  Robert Englund plays the part to such perfection that it's near impossible to imagine another actor playing the part in this movie. He's frightening, his face is burned (and he has arguably the best make-up in this one), his clothes are distinctive, his hat is dirty.  His claws look homemade.  He IS Freddy and this first movie for me is the DEFINITIVE Freddy. He wants to kill you.  And he will.

Finally, let's talk dreams.  Dreams are weird.  They might be as symbolic as a hot dog falling into a donut hole or as odd as a pound of cheddar attacking you, but it's okay because you are wielding the magic dog collar of doom.  Okay, my dreams are weird, but you get the point. This is the only Nightmare I remember in which the nightmares were....well, real nightmares. Inexplicably, a goat crosses the street in front of you, a rose trellis falls on your face and you wake to find it's not there, your legs are stuck and you're unable to move. We've all had strange things that happen to us in dreams like that, and the fact that these dreams are so well-realized shows that Wes Craven and the gang really knew what having a nightmare felt like.

Yes, you can find fault with this movie if you try. Heather's acting is a little wooden from time to time but it doesn't distract from her wonderful character. Ronee Blakely's over-the-top performance may be off-putting to some but it's fun how awesomely quotable she is. And a lot of people have trouble with the ending but I love it. After all, nightmares don't wrap up their storylines in neat packages before you wake. They don't have an ending.

Just from the beginning of my review, you can tell the love I have for the film. I could go on and on about the music, the style, the plot. There are so many iconic moments in this film, it's hard to mention them all: Tina getting slashed in the rotating room, Tina in a body bag, the spray of blood from Johnny Depp's bed, Nancy answering the tongue phone, Freddy's face coming out of the wall. Ask any fan and they'll all have their favorite moments.  The cast is great, the story is imaginative and this has the original Freddy as he was meant to be: down, dirty and killer. All a horror movie fan can ask for.  Until Part II, pleasant dreams....

Favorite Moments (may contain spoilers):

• Tina's first dream which is so much like my own it's scary.  You dream about goats too, right?
• Ceiling death and the body splat!
• Screw your hallpass!
• I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy. 
• Okay, if it made the coroner throw up, you know Depp's death was bad.
• The ending. I know people hate it but I just adore it.  Dreams are weird, mmkay?

Fun Facts Kids!

• Depp was cast at the insistence of Wes Craven's daughter who knew a good thing when she saw it.
• The rotating room used for Tina's death was used later in Glen's death scene. The room turned when it shouldn't have and everybody got drenched in red water. A crew member was even electrocuted (but he was okay).  Oddly enough it worked for the scene and they only did one take.
• Charles Fleischer (Roger Rabbit) has a small part as the doctor in the sleep clinic.
• Heather Langenkamp asked to take the tongue phone home with her - everyone was too polite to ask why.
• Wes Craven wrote the movie after reading a news story about a kid who refused to sleep for days, thinking he would die. When his parents finally made him sleep, he died.  

Agree? Disagree? Or just have a random string of curse words you'd like to share? Comment!

The Nightmare on Elm Street Marathon Review Experiment

Whenever I want you
All I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam,
Dream, dream, dream

- Everly Brothers

My last marathon experiment involved watching and reviewing all the Friday the 13th movies - one right after the other. And yes, it started out with a bang but ended with a whimper as I wearily watched Jason cutting through teens like so much meatloaf. After all, they follow pretty much the same formula.  And the later ones... well let's just say they weren't as good as the first.

So one astute reader threw this out there.  Why not do a Nightmare on Elm Street experiment? Why not tackle everybody's favorite burnt, undead killer dreamboat?
 And I have to admit, it would be a lot more fun. Granted I had already tore a hole in the new one in my Live Blogging of a Crap Horror Film which you can read here but it's been some time since I watched all of the NOES and I certainly never watched them in order.

So, this time around, Werewolves is going to review every Nightmare on Elm Street canon-style, even the silly ones.  And it's all going to start with the best one of em' all:  The Original Nightmare on Elm Street (1984).

Until then, try and stay awake.  And remember...no running in the hallway....