Friday, May 11, 2012

Cathy's Curse

I told you I was trouble,
You know that I'm no good
- Amy Winehouse

Oh boy, how does one even begin to describe Cathy's Curse? It's hard to put into words the weird, inept, sheer awfulness of this movie. But at the same time, it can almost be put into the same category as one of those low-budget 'so bad it's good’ movies. Almost. So I guess if I had to use one word to describe Cathy's Curse, it would be orange. Granted this just may be the print I have, and yes, the '70s were a very orange time, but I cannot think of any other way to describe this movie. So I’ll just call it orange.  

The story, if one can call it that, revolves around a man and his family moving into the house he used to live in as a child. His daughter Cathy finds a doll in the attic and starts doing all sorts of awful things like calling the local psychic lady a "fat whore" and attempting to eye-gouge a neighborhood kid with a needle. Apparently the doll is possessed by the ghost of her Aunt, who was burned to death in a car accident as a little girl and now is trying to possess Cathy. Or something.

That's it, that's the story. We don't know how the doll is forcing her to do evil things, we don't know why the dead little girl wants Cathy to be evil. We can't figure out the extent of Cathy's possession. Heck, at one point she even seems to teleport around her Mother, who of course is wrapped up in her own troubles to notice that her daughter does this, because she has suffered a nervous breakdown, which we learn in this exchange when Papa Bear notes that Cathy seems happy in their new home.

 “Well maybe you’d like it better if she was upset, well WOULD you?”
“What you talking about?”
“This is getting pretty ridiculous. You and I both know that I’ve had a nervous breakdown, RIGHT?

So, Daddy is totally oblivious to everything, Mom's a nutcase, Cathy's getting possessed and everything is really, really orange. I really tried to write down all the goofs, plot holes and funny bits into one review but that would take at least 8 pages and I seriously don't have that kind of time, so here’s a breakdown of some noteworthy moments:
  • Cathy nearly drowning and Dad carrying a completely dry Cathy out of the water. 
  • Food becoming all maggoty and gross, then turning back to normal for no reason.
  • The aforementioned scene of Cathy teleporting around her Mom and her Mom not noticing. 
  • Cathy breaking a statue with "mind powers" and the housekeeper cheerfully exclaiming "There, all done!" after picking up one piece of it and leaving the rest all over the floor.
  • The whole thing being resolved by simply pulling the stitched eyelids off of the doll. There, all done! 
I just can't go on. There are so many things wrong with this movie that it's a lot of fun to watch. I know, I know, I spent the entire review ragging on the film, but I had a fun time watching it. It's that bad. Or that good. Wait, no, I take that back. It's just bad. 
Favorite Moments (may contain spoilers):
  • Anything actually involving the doll.  That thing was creepy (and sadly under-used.)
  • Cathy sitting in drunk Uncle Paul's lap and both happily swearing at the poor psychic neighbor lady.
  • Cathy in "full possession" mode with oatmeal make-up caked on her face.
 Fun Facts Kids!
  • Cathy's Curse was filmed in Montreal, Canada in 1977.
  • One of the recent DVD releases of Cathy's Curse features a goth/dominatrix chick on the cover that has nothing whatsoever to do with the film.
  • Also known as "Cauchemares" (French) 
  • Randi Allen who played Cathy, never appeared in another movie role.

    Agree?  Disagree?  Or just have a random string of curse words you'd like to share? Comment!

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